2006-01-18-11:29 p.m.
I am feelin'
I'm the cliché pathetic worthless female done wrong by some man a.k.a. her own free will, caught in the middle of a ratings war between cheesy morning talk shows targeting middle America house wives and high school drop outs. I'm the woman on the show who lists all the reasons why the guy she's with is the scummiest man on earth and how she's WAY too good for him (gets up out of her seat with her arms in the air waiting for the audience to urge her on, mistaking laughter for encouragement...etc etc). Yet there she is, for whatever the reason, bringing this guy on this show for some random group of people/audience to be the judge and jury of her relationship, knowing full well that she just wants her bastard boyfriend to get on his knees (next to his baby's mama who is of course the surprise guest) and ask her to marry him--to which she will gleefully say yes to, forgetting that just two seconds ago her trust in him was betrayed . . . and two seconds before that her trust in him was betrayed . . . and two seconds before that. . . well you get the point.
I've become fixated on the idea that all men in the end have this innate ability of stripping the women in their lives down to the their most vulnerable core, at which point they have no choice but to be these pathetic creatures, helpless to the control of these men. It's not all their fault. It's not like I'm saying they sit around masterminding ways of tearing down a women to the point that she is panting and raving for him and he gets to pick and choose when he's in the mood. We as women let our guards down so easily . . . rather hopefully. We all, no matter what we say on the surface, want that fairy tale of falling in love, not for not, but for forever. So we allow them to come in. We allow them to get comfortable. We want them to stay.
They stay for as long as you're this unattainable goddess of a woman. As long as they feel privileged to be with someone such as yourself, they stay, they flatter, they adore... they stay as long as it's convenient.
Convenience is a very important thing I'm starting to realize. It matters very little that the woman that they're with is their absolute soul mate, or to the other extreme their most exciting sexual partners--or even one and the same. What matters most is that the person they are with is convenient for them.
- - 2006-01-18
- - 2004-08-08
- - 2004-08-08
- - 2004-08-08
- - 2004-08-08
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